You And I, My Love
by taylor4340
Summary: Asami fell in love with everything Korra is, and everything Korra was, and she found that maybe she didn't mind falling so much.


**a/n:** i posted this a while ago on ao3, but i thought i should share it here, too. comments/favourites are always much appreciated!

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The first time I saw you, you were fighting. You're a fantastic waterbender. You were then and you are now. Then you knew it, it was in your footsteps and your little hand movements; in your twinkling azure eyes and your already victorious smile. You had yet to win, but you stepped into that ring knowing you would. You were the Avatar, after all. You would have to win.

Now you'll say you aren't a deserving bender, that you messed up and you let confidence ruin you, but I liked that confidence. It inspired me. It drew me to you. After that first moment of seeing you, I went home and I thought I might not mind seeing you again.

You loved him. I knew that when I saw you in the ring, but it was so raw once you were outside that I couldn't believe I might have tricked myself into thinking him and I would survive in a relationship as long as you were around.

He looked at you look you were the sun and you looked at him like he was the moon. Some silly love story written in the stars.

I don't know what came over me, but I felt some intense desire to prove to who that I could be something amazing, too. And maybe desire is the wrong word. Maybe it was something more like a need.

But the way you looked at me every moment after was like a drug. It was this thing I drank in and I felt like I was floating. An addiction is what it became, and yet maybe it wasn't so bad.

I like to think we became friends, but it was awkward. You kissed him, and I wanted to think you meant no harm, but something I've learned is that the brightest of things obscure life with their light, and at some point they stop seeing things and they just _destroy_. It's at the moment when they begin to notice their destruction that they fall apart, lose their light. Become something darker.

You struggled with a lot of things. You were still young. You believed the world was yours to take, and then it wasn't as easy as you'd expected. Nothing really is.

When you accused my father of working with the Equalists, I was shocked. What does one believe when their friend says such terrible things about their family?

But you were right. You always are, aren't you? And I wanted to blame this entire thing on you, but that was unreasonable. So I decided that it would do me good to closer to you somehow. It would wipe away any bitter thoughts of you, would make the burden of a sudden badness lighter.

I was wrong. I really was. My first mistake was thinking it would make anything easier. Because you aren't an easy person, and I knew this before I decided to grow as close to you as I did. What I expected, I don't know. But as I became your friend, your confidant, I found it was easier to get lost in your eyes as you spoke than to help to handle your problems like you expected me to.

My second mistake was thinking I could never fall in love with you. It took something like two seconds, to look in your eyes and see that sparkle like the sunlight on the sea and just _fall,_ backwards down some deep chasm where the only light was you up at the top.

I know that when Amon took away your bending, it hurt you beyond something physical. Who would you be without your bending? You were more cautious after that, but it didn't last long before you threw caution out the window. After that, you were more than reckless. I wondered if you had a death wish.

Six months passed, and I realized you were more powerful than just your powers as a bender. Something in the way you spoke, in the way you held yourself—was powerful. You exuded strength in a way I've never seen.

You looked so happy for so long. You and Mako had a wonderful relationship, but something about it was so hard to watch. It made me want to cry when I saw the two of you, but instead I pushed through it and stayed put together. Future Industries helped, of course. Put together a company helped me to not fall apart.

I was jealous of him, you'll say now. You'll laugh and throw a casual arm around my shoulder and say I had nothing to be jealous of.

The thing is that it wasn't jealousy. I was just . . . angry. Jealous isn't the right word, because I've never been the jealous type. You, on the other hand . . . well, I can hardly talk to another person without you getting defensive, but it makes me feel warm inside. I'm yours, you'll tell them all, and they'll always back off.

I had never been to the Southern Water Tribe. Or outside of Republic City a lot, really. My father went away for business sometimes, but I tended to stay behind. If he did take me, it was never far, and it was usually not long, either.

It was beautiful. It really was. So were you. You looked so bright. You were back home, after all, and that was something big after all the time you'd spent away. You were hardly an adult, really. We were young then, untouchable; now we're scarred and battered but we understand that these things happen for a reason, and that you can withdraw a lesson from every moment life throws you. And that's what's important.

It's still so hard to see how your uncle used you the way he did. I don't know how someone could be so needlessly cruel to their own family. But, then, maybe I do. Because my father went behind my back for similar reasons as your uncle went behind yours: because it's what he thought was right.

I knew you were crushed. I knew you were crushed as I watched you return, slumped in defeat though you had just won some giant battle. I could see it in your eyes even after you smiled and said it was okay, we could get past this. I knew you were crushed, but I watched as you fooled everybody else, and I didn't say a word.

After that everything between us was so easy. We were inseparable, close friends. Things with Mako were confusing, and I'm sorry I got back with him and things wound up the way they did. It wasn't fair to him or you. Because I loved you, and once upon a time I had loved him, too. But at some point, they didn't need to be confusing anymore. I'm glad we worked it out, truly.

We had our adventures. We always do. But then you almost died. You almost died, and there wasn't a thing I could do. It was your battle with Zaheer, and it was your battled to survive once it was over.

I wanted to go back with you, but you said no. If you hadn't been so frail, I might have pressed you. But something told me it wouldn't be good to push you when you were so empty. And somehow, I didn't like the thought of living with a soulless you for months.

But the days you were gone turned to weeks turned to months turned to years. I got a letter from you, and sent you countless. I was beginning to forget your face, and I was panicking. If I forgot you, I worried I might forget my entire existence. I kept myself busy, but in the end I wound up putting my favourite picture of us—you and me and Bolin and Mako—in a frame next to my bed so it could be the first thing I saw when I woke up and the last when I fell asleep.

When you finally did return, you looked healthier than when you left, but that confident twinkle in your eyes had dissipating. Your heat had risen to steam and floated away with the breeze.

But even as broken as you were, you were beautiful. I couldn't help but think your haircut was so much more suited to this new you. It marked a new age, an age of living in a way you had never lived.

Kuvira didn't think you were a match, but you were. The issue was that instead of fighting her, you were fighting yourself. I could see the hollowness in your eyes. Your body had healed, but your spirit remained shattered.

I think it's amazing how, in the end, you could forgive someone like Kuvira. But miracles happen, I suppose. I forgave my father, and I had sworn I wouldn't three years before.

The thing about forgiveness is that it's seen as a weakness, but I think it's more of a strength. To forgive, to have mercy—that's a beautiful thing. It's a power over people, a way to make everything different. You weren't as forgiving before, but I'm glad you grew up in this way. It's a lot easier to forgive and to get it all out than to let it boil and simmer for ages.

I miss my father. Of course I do. But mostly, I'm glad I gave myself the time to forgive him for his misdeeds. I never would have let myself live it down if I hadn't.

And you're such a good person. You've done wonderful things. You changed the world in three years—for the better. You brought about balance, harmony. And everything about you is glorious, is beautiful.

You took on the world alone, and now we're going to take it on together.

Because, Korra, I love you—and I can see it so clearly in your eyes when you look at me, hear it in your voice when you speak to me, that you love me, too.


End file.
